Between a rock and a hard place
by totti10
Summary: The conversations that really took place when Rocker joined Iain as his paramedic partner for the day
1. Chapter 1

Her shoulders dropped. It was the second time that day she'd been blanked by the man and other than failing to insist on any definition to their 'relationship' she was struggling to work out what she'd done wrong. She sighed as he continued past the nurses station on his way to the coffee shop, unaware that she was also being watched.

Why was he doing this? He'd been happy to share her bed for the past few months and even in public there'd been the furtive glances and brushes of contact that kept a fire burning in her belly for him pretty much every waking hour. Today something felt different and she didn't like it.

Earlier she'd picked up the second patient in his handover but Iain hadn't so much as given her a backward glance as he pushed his patient past her into Resus.

"You look like you could do with a coffee, princess" Rita's thoughts were interrupted and her heart sank, she hadn't been addressed in that way since… She was alarmed to feel tears pricking the corner of her eyes as she looked up to see a different paramedic stood in front of her holding 2 takeaway coffee cups. "I decided against sugar as it's fairly obvious you are sweet enough already" Iain's new partner continued.

Rita fought the urge to roll her eyes. It was a cliched line but at least it was a line. And a surprisingly nice gesture to boot.

"Oh hi Rocker, that is very sweet of you thank you. I was just about to start some paperwork in my office so perfect timing" she smiled politely as he handed her one of the cups. What she really wanted to do now was hide in the sanctuary of her room and bury her face in her arms at her desk but she didn't want to appear rude.

"The pleasure is all mine. I'm on a break from saving lives at the moment, well and after stepping in to sort out those boxers at the gym just now. Massive blokes but I had the measure of them I can tell you, I thought I'd see what Holby's most beautiful nurse was up to"

"That's very flattering thanks Rocker but I'm not sure it's true" Rita attempted another smile as she started to make her way to her office "so yeah I've got this paperwork to do but thanks again for the coffee"

"Allow me!" The bearded paramedic sprang forward to open the door for the nurse as she struggled with her coffee and a pile of folders.

"That's great thanks. See you late...oh!" Rita was startled to realise that Rocker had followed her into the office and was now hovering by the door.

"Sorry Rocker I'm a bit busy…" she began but the paramedic didn't appear to hear her.

"So…" he started "I couldn't help notice there's no ring on your finger - I'm surprised a stunner like you hasn't been snapped up"

"I… oh…right. It's a long story" Rita grimaced.

"Only if there isn't anyone I was hoping you'd like to go out for a drink with me tonight, you know to celebrate my first day of being a Holby hero?"

"Ah...well...err"

"It's ok, take your time, I'm used to women being quite overwhelmed when they are lucky enough to get asked" Rita somehow managed to swallow the sip of coffee she'd just taken rather than splutter it everywhere as Rocker continued "I'm sensing that there might be someone though?"

"Err…yes...no… I dunno" Rita rubbed the side of her head finding this whole encounter quite surreal.

"Well I think I do princess. He's out there queuing for coffee unless I'm very much mistaken"

Rita opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out.

"I've seen the way you look at him you see. And green eyes is about right for that one. Green eyed monster more like. He didn't like me chatting to you earlier I can tell you that for nothing. He might be a bit of a grumpy guts but it is obvious you're the bird for him. I think he might just be one of those men who need a gentle push in the right direction. Feel free to mention our 'theoretical' drinks tonight if it helps. Personally, I think it might. Right, duty calls. I'll be on my way" the paramedic winked and turned on his heel to go. Rita just about managed to compose herself to call after him

"Rocker… Err thanks... I think! And go easy on Iain. He's just sore that he's lost Dixie as a partner - not that he'd admit that to anyone" she said sadly. "He loves her to bits. Her not being around is going to take some getting used to… For all of us"

Rita watched Rocker disappear towards reception struggling to get her head round the fact she seemed to have just had a relationship pep-talk from Iain's new work colleague. What she would have done for a friendly ear to talk to right now. Dixie leaving so suddenly meant she had never quite got round to voicing her thoughts to the senior paramedic and Zoe never seemed to be around anymore. Once upon a time Iain would have been a good option for someone to chat to but he only seemed to be interested in one thing from her these days she thought sadly.

She had thought her and Iain would pan out differently she had to admit. It was only since being with him that she realised how much she was longing for someone not just to share her bed with but lazy Sundays, days off, nights out. Maybe she was at a point where she had to knock this on the head if she stood a chance of finding that with anyone. The thought of it made her stomach drop. Physically since they'd got together they'd not been able to keep their hands off each other, that had to be something. She was not ready to give this up without a fight, maybe Rocker was right. She spotted Iain on his way back from the cafe, his face set in a scowl and decided there was no time like the present. She dropped in beside him as he walked past

"Rough day, soldier?"

"If I hear one more of his fantasy stories I'm gonna de-fib my ears. Blow the drums right out"

Rita smiled. Iain's tendency to exaggerate when he was in a bad mood was one reason she could never be grumpy back.

"I admit he's odd but you can't fault the man's taste"

"Oh yeah why's that then?"

"Your partner's just asked me out for a drink" Rita looked for a reaction and saw a flicker of confusion in his face. She decided to push her luck by continuing. "We are allowed to see other people right?" Iain seemed to have gathered himself and his quick retort caught her off guard.

"Course. You're talking to the man with repetitive Tinder strain from swiping right" he snapped, smiling sarcastically. Rita's face dropped, she felt genuinely hurt at the comment.

"Great" she retorted struggling not to let her emotions show.

"Perfect. Enjoy kebab by candlelight" Iain practically spat. Rita turned to leave but he called after her rudely "Hey! Ask him to tell you about the time he head butted a bull for looking at him funny. Heartwarming"

 _Oh my god_ thought Rita as Iain walked back towards the exit. _Rocker was right. He's jealous as hell_. Her face broke into a smile as soon as he was out of sight. As long as she didn't push this too far she had a good feeling that this was a long overdue step in the right direction. Now she just needed to let him stew a while and get on with her shift while she worked out her next move.


	2. Chapter 2

A couple of hours later and Rita was starting to get exasperated. There had been several interruptions to her admin tasks but if she was honest even if there hadn't been she probably wouldn't have fared much better. She just couldn't concentrate today. She cursed as there was another knock at the door.

"Come in!" The nurse tried hard to keep any anger out of her tone. Rocker's head appeared around the door.

"Hello princess!" Rita flinched again at the use of Jeff's preferred greeting.

"Rocker, sorry this really isn't a good time. I've so much to do" Rita sighed.

"Don't you worry I won't keep you long. I just wanted to let you know that I'm moving on. My boss has asked me to help out a station down in Bristol tomorrow morning so I'm heading off there shortly."

"Oh right" said Rita confused "well that was short-lived! Don't they still need cover here?"

"Ah well the thing is…" Rocker looked down at his feet "someone made a call to say I hadn't fitted in here so… My boss wouldn't say who but…"

"You think it was Iain?"

"Well he didn't deny it. And I...err might have mentioned that I thought he might have done it because of you and he didn't deny that either" Rocker looked at Rita pointedly.

"I was chatting to the other guys about him and one of them mentioned they thought he'd been with a married woman when he was in the army and he didn't think there'd been anyone since? Actually a couple of them thought he might be, y'know, the other way inclined…"

Rita raised an eyebrow as Rocker tailed off, amusement glinting in her eyes.

"It's all good we parted amicably. I think he needs someone like you Rita he just needs a bit of help realising it. Look, got lots more lives to save elsewhere I'd best start making tracks - you let me know if I ever need to buy a hat right?

It was the third time that day Rocker had rendered her almost speechless but Rita gathered herself to address him before he left.

"Rocker, thanks. I mean it. You didn't have to do this for me… us? Especially after I… Well I guess I blew you out… Sorry. Now listen though. You're a good man and, to have got this far and be part of HART and everything, you must be a fantastic paramedic but well can you just promise me one thing?

"Go on…" Rocker shifted his weight from foot to foot seemingly embarrassed at the compliments.

"It's just… well it's just I think you might get along better with some people if you tone it down on the hero stories? I mean no one likes to feel inferior do they? I think if you concentrate on doing a good job and listen to people a bit more, you know find out what makes them tick and be able to enjoy conversations with them - like we're doing - well then you'll probably find that people want to start telling your stories for you" she reached out to touch his arm.

Rocker grabbed her into an embrace squeezing the breath out of her as he hugged her tight.

"I'll remember that, thank you sweetheart. Now you may or may not be interested to know that a certain other paramedic might still just be sat loitering in his van outside the ED? See you later princess!" Rocker turned on his heel and hurried off leaving Rita standing bewildered in the middle of her office.

 _Sod it it's not like I'm getting any work done here is it?_ Rita thought. She reached for her blue hoody and headed for the door.


	3. Chapter 3

Iain shifted in his seat smiling. He watched as the blonde nurse headed back into the hospital from his ambulance but couldn't help feeling slightly confused at what had just happened. From what he could make out, the good news - as well as the fact that Rocker was now off the the scene - was that he would now be seeing Rita that evening, purple lace underwear and all. He bit his lip as he remembered the last time he'd seen her wearing it, however briefly…

But then, and this was the tricky bit, had she actually ever been intending to go out with Rocker? She hadn't seemed too disappointed that he was now standing in for whatever she'd had planned with that idiot. And that was another thing - what exactly were they supposed to be doing tonight? She said they didn't have to call it date night but…

Iain jumped as his thoughts were interrupted by a knock at his window. He wound the window down to speak to Charlie, the veteran nurse who was smiling kindly up at him.

"Erm, any plans to move this ambulance today Iain or has it taken roots?"

"Oh right yes sorry Charlie have you got an incoming?"

"No no, nothing that we know of, don't worry. I just wanted to check everything was okay. You alright? You looked deep in thought just now?"

"Oh… you know. Women" Iain gave Charlie an exasperated shrug.

"Women? Plural? Or just one in particular?" Charlie's eyes were twinkling now and the fact that Iain fidgeted awkwardly in his seat didn't go unnoticed. "And here was me thinking you'd been hanging round my office more because you wanted to start helping me with the crossword..."

He leaned further towards Iain.

"You make a lovely couple" he said lowering his voice conspiratorially "I was actually hoping things might be heading towards - how do you kids say it - 'Facebook official'? He raised his eyebrows at the dark-haired man. Iain grimaced.

"I dunno Charlie. I really like her, and the physical side of things is great. Amazing actually" he exhaled, puffing out his lips as he thought about it. "But how do you know if you're supposed to take the next step? I don't think I even know what the next step is. Let alone how to take it. Or if she'd even want me to? Help?" The paramedic looked at the older man imploringly.

"Sounds like I might need to take a seat. Shift over" Iain heaved himself over to the passenger seat while Charlie clambered in. The nurse beaming as he grabbed the steering wheel.

"All this time and they've never let me drive one of these things" he chuckled.

"Yeah well…" Said Iain as he reached across to take the keys out of the ignition "no offence Charlie, but I don't fancy risking a third ambulance hijack. I can't trust anyone these days" he smiled ruefully at the nurse.

So…new territory for you this I take it?

"Pretty much, yep. Well there was Sam but…" Iain picked at mark on the dashboard in front of him.

"Ah yes. Affair with the married woman while on active duty. Not particularly representative of real life sadly eh?

"I thought I loved her" Iain said sheepishly

"That can be the beauty of love a second time round Iain. You realise that it blows whatever you thought you had before right out of the water" he smiled encouragingly at the paramedic.

Anyway back to the current issue...Rita then? We are talking about Rita aren't we?" Charlie checked. Iain looked down at his lap, reddening slightly as he nodded.

"I'll let you into a secret first shall I? She's been like a different person these last few months. Relaxed, happier, like she's not carrying the weight of the world round all on her own you know? I think you've probably got to take some credit for that" Iain acknowledged with an embarrassed smile as Charlie continued.

"You two, you've known each other a good while now? Mates before all this started?"

"Yeah I guess" Iain's eyes narrowed as he tried to figure out where Charlie was going with this.

"Ok so before you got together, if a mate you were supposed to be going to gig with suddenly couldn't make it but you knew it was a band Rita liked too, would you have considered offering your spare ticket to her? And still have had a good night? A load of you are spending your day off down the beach but, for whatever reason, everyone's cried off apart from Rita. Would you still have gone and had a laugh the pair of you?"

"Sounds like you know my flaky mates pretty well" Iain joked weakly.

"You get my point though. It's about finding someone you want to spend time with Iain, you know, more than just in the bedroom. Shared experiences, ultimately shared life.

So look if you can find someone whose company you enjoy, great. Someone for the physical side, great too. I'd take either if I was offered them right now I'll be honest! But if you get a chance at both, that's when you move up into a whole different league. Don't pass up that opportunity if you get the chance Iain. You and I both know that the only reason Dixie isn't here saying the same thing to you is because she worked that out too"

"Another scenario for you. Someone who prefers the company of a quality whiskey and a good Inspector Morse, offers you a meal for two in town that he happens to have just won in the ED Easter raffle. Can you think of anyone you'd like to take? It really doesn't have to be much more complicated than that you know. Give it a go. From where I'm sitting you've everything to gain and not a lot to lose." Iain stared at Charlie thoughtfully as he fished in his pocket

"Yours if you want it" he said offering the piece of paper "and before you ask, I don't want anything for it. Just keeping a smile on the face of my roommate is enough"

"Thanks Charlie, I don't know what to say. No doubt your lad doesn't realise how lucky he is having a dad like you?"

"Something like that. Do I take it yours isn't around to speak to?"

"Never was" muttered Iain sadly as his radio crackled to life. He proceeded to confirm he'd attend St James' for a patient transfer.

"Right. This is your stop I believe Mr Fairhead. No driving for you today I'm afraid" Iain patted the older man on the shoulder as he vacated the driver's seat, shutting the door behind him.

As he drove away from the hospital complex Iain frowned as he saw the lone figure in navy hunched on Jeff's memorial bench; fingers wrapped round a coffee cup, knees hugged to her chest.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: sorry it's taken me a while to update this. Hope you enjoy this chapter :) x**

* * *

Later that afternoon Iain had completed his last shout of the day. Showered and changed he headed back over to the ED pleased that he'd managed to take the ambulance to run a little errand before he did so.

"Ooh Iain you shouldn't have!" Jack's unmistakeable voice chimed as he entered reception.

"Very funny" he mumbled. "erm I don't suppose you know where Rita is?" He asked the receptionist awkwardly.

"I knew it! So you and her are…?" He raised his eyebrows suggestively towards the paramedic "such a waste…" He tailed off shaking his head.

"Erm… Rita?" Iain asked again.

"Oh she's in her office. In a mood. She said not to disturb her unless it was a matter of life or death. Or chocolate." Jack seemed less interested in the conversation now "you might be alright with those" he said with a nod to what Iain was holding in his hand "but I wouldn't bank on it"

Iain quickly detoured via the coffee kiosk and knocked on Rita's office door moments later, entering after hearing a grunt from within.

"Am I allowed in? I come bearing an intense Cadbury's chocolate hit?" he ventured, waving the Twirl in front of him. Rita's frown softened into almost a smile. She sighed as she looked up at him and Iain braved stepping further into the office

"And erm… you looked like you needed cheering up earlier so I… err… thought these might look nice in here?" From behind his back he produced a bunch of different coloured tulips wrapped in brown paper, holding them out uncertainly.

Rita stood up from her desk, unable to mask the surprise in her face or voice.

"Oh. Wow. Thank you. Err… You didn't have to but thanks, they're lovely Iain" she looked up shyly at him as she took the flowers "Tulips are actually my favourite so…" Iain shrugged and cast his eyes over the pile of folders on Rita's desk.

"You a bit bogged down with all this then?"

"Oh you know, nothing that won't keep til tomorrow. I just thought I'd have a bit more of a productive afternoon but… I dunno… struggling to concentrate today" Iain looked at her sympathetically and stepped closer so he could rest his hand on her arm, rubbing his thumb gently against her skin.

"Want me to make you a brew to go with that chocolate?" She nodded and he headed towards the kettle. Rita smiled softly as she watched him busy himself in the kitchenette.

Minutes later he came back to perch on her desk next to her setting two mugs down behind them.

"Wanna talk about it? I err… Saw you sat on Jeff's bench earlier. Is everything okay?" Rita sighed heavily then cast a sideways glance at Iain. She wasn't sure but it felt like something has changed since they'd talked earlier. Maybe she could talk to him after all.

"Do you still miss him?" She asked quietly.

"Jeff?" Rita nodded slightly "Yeah I do" It was Iain's turn to sigh as he thought of his former colleague. "It's weird though. It always felt like he was nearer by when Dix was here. I dunno, it feels like she took a bit more of him away when she left somehow?" He put his arm round Rita's shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. "You too?"

"Yeah, it just hits me every now and again and when… when it does I…" She gulped as her voice broke "I have to remember all over again that he's not here anymore. Oh Iain I'm sorry…" Rita inhaled shakily as the tears started to roll freely down her cheeks.

"Hey come on, it's okay" Iain pulled her into him and rested his chin on the top of her head "I know exactly what you mean. I still expect him to appear in the staffroom and put me in my place and it's been what? Over eighteen months now? Blimey…" Iain rubbed Rita's back as she continued to sob and sniffle.

"Sorry, I don't really know where that's come from today" she mumbled against his chest "and I miss Dixie. And now it looks like Zoe might be off too and then I felt… I felt like I was putting pressure on you to do the 'date' thing and I don't want you to feel you have to. I was just… I'm just… feeling a bit lonely and sorry for myself I guess?" Iain pushed Rita away from him slightly so they could look at each other.

"Right well I can do something about that last one" he said, cupping her cheek with his hand and gently wiping tears away with his thumb. "This date. That's what came here for actually" Rita looked into his eyes, unsure what was coming next. "Sorry if I've been a bit of an idiot today, you shouldn't have had to lead me by the hand through all of this it's just… it's no excuse really but… well I'm hardly what you'd class as expert boyfriend material"

"Humm you're not really selling yourself very well here Iain if you don't mind me saying" Rita teased gently.

"I know and I don't want to scare you off. I just mean I've tried some silly relationships in the past but me and you, we're friends aren't we? Both single, enjoy each other's company and well, you know, the other stuff…" He smirked as he nudged her shoulder with his "I'm just being a moron having a problem with the word 'girlfriend' and 'date' and stuff I'm sorry"

"If it makes you feel better I'm not really an expert either am I? And I mean the bar was hardly set very high by my last relationship, my… umm… my marriage." Rita bit the inside of her lip and looked down at the floor "but I don't want to push you into making this something more than you want it to be. I just started to think we could be more than well…"

"Amazing sex?" Iain continued as Rita flashed him a wry smile and nodded "well it has been pretty amazing. Honestly Reet I can't even look at you without you doing funny things to me. Nobody's ever made me feel like this before..."

"What because I talk dirty to you?" Rita said only half teasing.

"Well i'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy that" Iain smiled "no I mean because it's you and i've always fancied you and now we get to go to bed together and i've been so distracted by that I haven't thought about what it could mean and I guess part of me thought you wouldn't be interested in me like that but well… i've had a bit of a wake up call today and if you're up for it i'd really like to start to try and make it up to you?"

"Okay…" Said Rita slowly, a confused smile growing on her face "Keep talkin'" Iain reached into his top pocket and handed her the folded piece of paper. Rita's eyes lit up as she read it

"So like a proper posh night out, me and you?"

"I think it's about time don't you?" He smiled and leant to kiss Rita's cheek frowning as she pulled away from him and stood up.

"Oh well that very much depends" she whispered, keeping a straight face as she positioned herself between Iain's legs "on whether the amazing sex is still on offer afterwards"

Iain wrapped his arms around her back and pulled her into him, their faces close

"I'll have to see what I can do..." He muttered softly before cupping the back of her head with both hands and pulling her so their lips met. In the same way as the first time they kissed they hungrily explored each other's mouths, hands raking through hair, bodies pressed against each other until eventually they had to break for air. Both of them flushed and breathing heavily.

"Well if that's just a taster for later I think we're gonna be okay" Rita smirked mischievously "now we'd better be careful, we don't want to give Charlie a shock!" She moved away and giggled as Iain shifted to adjust his trousers.

"See look what you do to me!" Iain flashed her a grin as he extracted a sheaf of papers from underneath him "oops sorry I've been sat on some of your work. Sorting the holiday rota are you?" He said glancing down at the top sheet.

"Yeah" Rita grimaced. "Holiday requests for school holidays proving a pain as per" she shrugged.

"Wait a minute is this right Reet? Have you even taken any holiday in the last 12 months? We're not robots you know. Even you need a break once in a while"

Rita fiddled with her uniform sheepishly.

"I just forget, I never get round to taking it and well recently there's been a bit of a bonus to hanging around here" she grinned at him shyly. "I'll book a day off soon I promise"

"Or… Back to what was getting you down earlier… How about…"

"How about what?"

"Sorry no it doesn't matter. I was getting a bit carried away. It's just I was going to book a few days to go and see Dix in Cornwall. I just had the idea we could make a week of it. Shove a tent in the boot if we fancied mixing it up a bit but too much too soon right?" He scratched his chin nervously as he looked up at her. This had been panning out so well up until now he was desperate not to blow it.

"Seriously? I honestly can't think of a better way to spend a week off. I would love that. Let's just do it"

"Really? It's not too 'boyfriend and girlfriend'?"

"Iain… What are we?" she chastised softly.

"We're boyfriend and girlfriend" it was his turn to look sheepish.

"In which case heading off to Cornwall for a week, to get drunk with one of our best mates, and christen a few B&Bs, our new tent and if you're lucky, some beaches is…?" She looked up at him smiling. Iain pulled her in close and planted a soft kiss on her forehead before replying:

"It's bloody perfect"


End file.
